freak out time!

I signed up for my first marathon a long time ago.  I had plenty of time to train and rock the socks off the new distance.  As you all know, I’m very susceptible to peer pressure, so when I heard talk of the Marine Corps Marathon that was the weekend of my birthday selling out – I had to hop in.  So then I ended up with not just my first, but my first AND second marathons within two weeks of each other.  Go big or go home, right?

Well, it sounded slightly insane, but I am slightly insane, so I said, what the heck.  I’ll do some research, get my taper right and keep my fitness for the second 26 miles, run a bit slower to save my body, and call it good.  I had my color-coded training sheet

And I was ready to go.  What isn’t on that perfectly planned schedule is a respite from running/swimming/biking.  After crashing my bike, I was sidelined from running for over two months (yes, that was before this plan even starts – I delete the rows once I do them and I couldn’t find an old copy).  Thankfully, my coach is crazier than me incredibly smart and awesome and said “it might not be pretty, but we can get it done if you’re committed.”  I thought about it and decided that I’d signed up (and paid!) for both of these marathons (both for very good reasons) and was going to get it done.  So both of these marathons are still on my race calendar.  My mileage has been ramping up quickly but safely and my legs are holding up great.  Unfortunately, my speed seems to have disappeared and I am terrified of being the last one to finish the marathon… I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve only been back running for less than three weeks.

And then folks, tonight, I saw this:

And did the calculation myself for this:

Result: FREAKING OUT.

I 110% trust my coach, so the thought of backing out or not completing these races isn’t the question.  The question is how “not pretty” is it going to be?  I think the ugliness is beginning to rear its head in the form of sleeplessness, worry, and self-doubt during workouts.  It is true that I am less-than-prepared.  But it also true that I am putting in enough mileage that I will be able to complete the distance.  It certainly won’t be as fast or as easy as I would like, but 26.2 miles is 26.2 miles.  So here’s my question to you: how do you deal with questioning yourself before races that you are underprepared for?

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One Comment to “freak out time!”

  1. Ah, the taper crazies. You are well prepared to complete the distances and you will be FINE! The NWM is a lot of fun and really pretty and you’ll enjoy every second. I’ll be there cheering you on at MCM!!

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